Back In Time♥

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If you could go back and change ANYTHING in your life? Would you? Why or why not?

*warning, some language could/might offend someone, it’s only in my little rant at the end. if you are easily offended by some harsh words, do not read the paragraph starting with ‘Now, growing up like that’ *

Oh now this is a hard question to answer so publicly. But I want to give readers an insight to my life, and be open as possible so this is what I’ll continue to do :). 

If I could change anything, it would be how I looked growing up. Now that may seem ‘odd’ to people and everything but I was teased & bullied from age 5 at a Catholic School and than up until I punched a girl in 9th grade. 

Now you all know that I am over weight, and I am currently on the path to lose weight and keeping it off. Well I was always a bit chubby growing up and I wore glasses from age 5. Now in a Catholic School, most of the children that went there, were privileged, meaning they had LOTS of money. They all grew up with money, grew up together, went to the best pre-school and etc. Well not me, single mom, in an apartment, now living with my grandparents, aunt, and uncle/godfather. I was smart though, I went to a very amazing pre-school, they taught me how to swim at age 2 1/2, how to write (left/right handed), color, write, and etc. I had to wear glasses in order to see the board from anywhere in the room, well they teased me constantly about that. Also about my weight, I had a little baby belly and than they teased that I didn’t grow up with money like all of them. 

I went there from the second half of kindergarten til second grade after I made my communion. Well I left there, and went to public school, I already had friends because I was in town activities. I was a cheerleader, girl scout, softball player, and I did karate. I had many friends in all of my classes, and I was very happy in that school, no teasing and I loved it. 

Fast forward to middle school, I got teased for my weight again, this time by three boys. It was worse, and after the teachers did NOTHING, my mom got involved and threatened to sue the parents, and school if nothing was done. Well that got their attention, they were removed and I never saw them, they didn’t like it but knew if they kept talking it would make their lives worse. It varied all through out middle school when I was teased or not, usually I wasn’t but sometimes the kids got mean and it started but quickly ended. 

In 9th grade, I was in the competitive marching band, and a cheerleader, I had many upper class men friends from our youth league & girl scouts. So I wasn’t teased by anyone that wasn’t in my grade. This one female teased me, for my weight, saying I’d always be heavy etc etc. Well one day she caught me in a BAD mood, and I just had it, I knew that teachers didn’t give a rats ass and no one would do anything. So I made sure I had good leverage and I punched her, square in the face, informing her that it would happen each time she opened that mouth badly about me. With that nothing ever happened again, I had many friends in many different circles so I would always hear if something was said. 

Now, growing up like that I am a fight first ask questions later, and unfortunately that is not going to change. I already know that it won’t change. I still have people, whom live in my town that judge Ant’s and mine relationship. I’ve gotten the ‘OH you are dating THAT Anthony?!’ bitch get over your self; and ‘OH I didn’t know it was THAT Anthony that she was dating!’ are you freaking KIDDING ME!? Now I know I am a fighter, but do NOT judge who I am dating. Am I bigger than him? yes, so what? Does MY being bigger effect you? I am going to say NO. Does ANYONE that actually matters to he or I give a crap that I am bigger? NO. Wanna know why? because I treat him like he’s a damn king, I keep him happy, I don’t piss him off, I don’t fight with him every chance we get, I keep a happy medium with seeing each other and spending time apart. I never pushed the relationship, we kept it going slowly, and with that we fell in love slowly. 

Ok I got a bit off track with my little rant above, but with my WHOLE post in place. I am who I am because of what happened to me, there’s probably no way I would have the great personality that I do if I was a skinny little twit that was a slut in high school. YUP I said it, most of the popular skinny little girls were promiscuous through out high school and got quite a name for them selves. Which is neither here nor there, but I definitely know that I wouldn’t be who I am if I didn’t have the childhood I did. 

♥